The Holidays

While some aspects of the holiday season are easier to manage this year (no office kitchens stocked to the brim with holiday goodies, no parties or get-togethers, no out-of-town trips), there are still very difficult challenges. I’ve been discussing some of them with my clients over the past few weeks.

My client Rachel found that she was overbuying holiday treats for her kids in an effort to make the holidays feel special. Even though she didn’t have to contend with an office breakroom full of temptations, however, she just moved that hot zone into her own house and sabotaged herself. When we looked at the situation objectively, Rachel was able to realize that loading up on sugary treats wasn’t good for anyone in her household – not her kids, not her husband, and certainly not herself. Rachel and I made a list of new holiday traditions she and her family could institute this year that had nothing to do with eating and would enable them to celebrate safely.Vacation Plan 2

My client Lisa got off track during the beginning of the pandemic and ended up gaining about 20 pounds back from the 60 she had lost. Lisa doesn’t live close to her parents or her sister, and she said that not seeing them this holiday season made it harder for her to get back on track and lose the weight she had gained. In the past, knowing they were going to see that she had gained weight back would have been a huge incentive for her to get refocused. Lisa and I discussed that, at some point, she will be able to safely travel again. Lisa made the following Response Card to help her get back on track:

Even though I’m not seeing my family this year, at some point I will see them again. If I keep going down this off-track path, I’ll gain even more weight than I have now. Getting back on track right now is worth it because not only will it help me lose the weight I’ve regained, but I’ll feel better about myself and more in control. I need to do this for myself, not for them.

My client Jason was feeling disappointed that the holidays weren’t going to look “normal” this year, and he was overeating to help him cope. With many feeling deprived of many of their usual pleasures (dinners out, movies, museums, trips, coffee dates, etc.), it makes sense that these feelings would be more acute during the holidays. Jason and I discussed that since he wasn’t going to get joy from many typical holiday sources – most notably time with family and friends – he had to be very deliberate about finding joy in other ways to avoid turning to food to fill that need. Jason made a Response Card to help remind him of that:

Even though the holidays will look different this year, there are still things that bring me joy. I have to be intentional about filling that need, or it will come out through overeating. Overeating to bring myself joy is a trick, not a treat, because it makes me feel out of control and jeopardizes my hugely important weight loss goals.

3 replies
  1. Page John
    Page John says:

    Wonderful practical advice as always. The response cards, being generated by the clients themselves are certainly more likely to have the desired effect as opposed to generic cards. Beck always has the good stuff! Quite human and equally practical.

    Reply
  2. John
    John says:

    What a wonderful gift this holiday season. Quite human as well as practical. Personally generated response cards make for more internally generated positive behavior.

    Reply
  3. John Page
    John Page says:

    Wonderful and immensely practical. Personally generated response cards are surely more likely to help in successful outcomes than generic ones. Every time these stories are human and practical. Thank You!

    Reply

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