I Want More

This week, I had a session with my client Sonia, a 45-year-old mother of four boys. Sonia told me the sabotaging thought that kept popping up over the past week: “I want more.” When she’s eating something that tastes good, she keeps thinking she wants more even when she knows it’s enough. Often, she feels deprived if she doesn’t have more.cinnamon bun on plate

I discussed with Sonia that when she’s eating something – assuming she’s already eaten a reasonable amount – and she chooses to continue, she’ll get more food but feel less in control and make less progress towards her goals. When she stops eating after a reasonable amount, she’s getting less food (not no food!), but she’ll feel more in control, make more progress towards good health, and reinforce healthy habits. In either scenario, she’s getting less of one thing and more of another.

Another way to look at this is that either way she’s going to feel deprived. Either she’s going to feel deprived of some food, some of the time (but not all food all of the time), or she’s going to feel deprived of achieving everything on her Advantages List. For Sonia, and many others, the unfortunate truth is that eating every bite of food she wants, losing weight, and keeping it off are mutually exclusive goals.

Sonia and I discussed that she has a bit of a hair-trigger deprivation meter. Every time she tells herself, “No, you can’t eat that,” she immediately feels very deprived. This is likely because in past weight loss phases, she actually has deprived herself. In the past, she would allow herself no carbs, no sugar, or too few calories each day. We discussed that this time is different. This time, she is eating carbs, she is eating sugar, and she is taking in a reasonable amount of calories each day. Although she’s not necessarily eating as many of these things as she would like each day, she is still eating a reasonable amount.

I told Sonia that we have to work on reprogramming her brain to understand that “No” doesn’t mean “I can’t ever have this food” (as it did in the past). Now, “no” just means, “I’m not having any more right now. But I can still plan to have more another time.”

Halloween Survival Guide

Halloween is just around the corner! It’s important to start thinking about what plans and Response Cards you need to navigate it successfully!

Regaining Dessert Control

Today I had a session with my client, Melissa. For the past few months, Melissa has been working on not having dessert before dinner. This is a necessary skill for Melissa to implement because, like a lot of dieters, Melissa encounters dessert all day long.

Two Minutes Versus Sixteen Hours

Jen realized that she was sacrificing around 16 hours of feeling good for a maximum of two minutes of enjoying a taste – not a trade she wanted to make!

Off-Track Mentality

My client, Scott, has had a really hard two weeks.  He’s been dealing with a lot of stress at work and his eating has definitely suffered. He’s struggled to track his calories (something he was fairly easily getting himself to do before) and was feeling too worn out to get himself to prepare healthy dinners at night, and consequently fell back into old habits of ordering takeout.

Just This One Time

In session this week, my client, Tom, told me that over the weekend he’d eaten an unplanned snack in the middle of the day. Tom, like many of my clients, follows an eating schedule.

I’m Failing

While it’s true that there were some things that had started to really slip (he all but stopped giving himself credit, started eating standing up again, started taking much bigger portions at meals, especially dinner, and stopped counting calories), it wasn’t true that everything was going poorly. In fact, when Mike looked at this list, he realized that a lot of things were still going well – he just wasn’t acknowledging or giving himself credit for them.

I Need Something

My client, Megan, has been getting off track in the evening hours. She told me in session this week that she’s generally doing really well during the day, but ends up snacking too much in the hours between dinner and bed. I asked Megan what thought she might be having around that time, and she said, “It’s probably, ‘I need something.’ ”  Megan admitted that it wasn’t necessarily that she was hungry in that moment (she knew that if she had already eaten all her calories then her body has had enough food), but it was her mind that was feeling unsatisfied.

Take Time for Yourself!

This week, I had a session with my client, Grace. Grace told me that over the past few weeks she has been struggling to stay on track, particularly in the evenings. I asked Grace what sabotaging thoughts she was having in the evenings, and it was usually something like, “You’ve been working so much and had a hard day, you deserve this.”

Holidays

Not having a strong plan can exponentially increase the chances of getting off track because of how many spontaneous decisions you’ll have to make all day.